When should I take my elderly parent to the emergency room?

Go to the ER for: chest pain or difficulty breathing, signs of stroke (face drooping, arm weakness, speech difficulty), severe bleeding or injury, sudden confusion, severe abdominal pain, high fever with other symptoms, falls with possible fracture or head injury, or any situation that feels life-threatening. When in doubt, call 911.

What should I bring to the ER for my parent?

Bring: current medication list, insurance cards, ID, healthcare proxy documents, advance directives, list of medical conditions and allergies, names of their doctors, phone to contact family, comfort items (glasses, hearing aids, dentures), and something to occupy wait time. Keep an emergency folder ready at all times.

How can I be a good advocate in the ER?

Stay calm, provide clear information, know your parent's baseline, speak up if something seems wrong, ask questions, take notes, don't leave them alone if possible, ensure they understand what's happening, and ask about the plan before discharge. You know your parent best—share relevant information.

Should I call 911 or drive to the ER?

Call 911 for: chest pain, stroke symptoms, severe breathing difficulty, severe bleeding, unconsciousness, or any life-threatening emergency. Paramedics can provide life-saving treatment en route. Drive for: non-life-threatening conditions where your parent is stable and you can safely transport them.

Emergency Room Preparedness for Seniors: A Caregiver's Guide

The phone rings at 3 AM. Your mother has fallen. Or your father is having chest pain. Suddenly you're rushing to the emergency room, trying to remember medications, explain symptoms, and make decisions—all while terrified about your parent's condition.

Preparation makes these moments more manageable. This guide will help you prepare for emergencies before they happen and navigate the ER effectively when they do.

Call 911 Immediately For:

Chest pain, difficulty breathing, stroke symptoms (face drooping, arm weakness, speech difficulty), severe bleeding, unconsciousness, seizures, or any life-threatening emergency. Don't drive—paramedics can provide life-saving treatment en route.

When to Go to the Emergency Room

Knowing when to seek emergency care versus waiting for a doctor's appointment can be difficult.

Call 911 or Go to ER Immediately

Chest pain, pressure, or tightness
Difficulty breathing or severe shortness of breath
Signs of stroke: face drooping, arm weakness, speech difficulty (FAST)
Severe bleeding that won't stop
Sudden severe headache
Loss of consciousness or fainting
Seizures
Severe allergic reaction
Sudden confusion or altered mental status
High fever with stiff neck, rash, or severe symptoms
Severe abdominal pain
Falls with head injury or possible fracture
Coughing or vomiting blood
Suicidal thoughts or self-harm

May Need ER or Urgent Care

High fever (especially with other symptoms)
Urinary symptoms with fever
Significant cuts or wounds
Moderate pain not controlled by home measures
Sudden vision changes
Worsening of chronic conditions

Can Usually Wait for Doctor

Mild cold or flu symptoms
Minor aches and pains
Routine medication refills
Chronic conditions that are stable

Being Prepared Before an Emergency

Preparation now saves precious time and stress during emergencies.

Create an Emergency Folder

Keep this ready to grab and go:

Current medication list: Names, doses, frequencies, prescribing doctors
Allergy list: Drug allergies and reactions
Medical conditions: All diagnoses, especially heart disease, diabetes, dementia
Insurance information: Cards and policy numbers
Healthcare proxy/POA: Copy of document naming decision-maker
Advance directives: Living will, DNR if applicable
Doctor contact information: Primary care and specialists
Emergency contacts: Family members to call
Brief medical history: Major surgeries, hospitalizations, recent health events

Keep an ER Go-Bag Ready

Copy of emergency folder documents
Phone and charger
Glasses, hearing aids, dentures (or list to grab)
Snacks and water for yourself
Something to read or do during waits
Comfort item for your parent
Small amount of cash

Know Your Options

Before an emergency:

Know which ERs are closest and which your parent's doctors prefer
Understand your insurance coverage for emergency care
Know the location of urgent care centers for non-emergencies
Have after-hours number for parent's doctors

At the Emergency Room

What to expect and how to navigate the ER effectively.

Triage

Upon arrival, a triage nurse assesses your parent's condition:

Be clear and specific about symptoms and when they started
Mention any concerning symptoms (chest pain, confusion, breathing difficulty)
Share relevant medical history immediately (heart condition, diabetes, blood thinners)
Be honest about severity—don't minimize, but don't exaggerate

Triage determines who is seen first based on severity, not arrival time. Life-threatening conditions go first.

The Waiting Room

ER waits can be long. To manage:

Keep your parent comfortable and calm
Monitor their condition—report any changes to staff
Ask approximately how long the wait will be
If symptoms worsen significantly, alert triage immediately
Stay patient—the ER prioritizes by medical urgency

When They're Seen

Once in a treatment area:

Provide the medication list and medical history
Describe symptoms clearly: when they started, how they've progressed, what makes them better or worse
Share your parent's baseline: "She's usually very alert" or "He can normally walk without help"
Ask what tests are being done and why
Take notes on what doctors tell you
Ask questions if you don't understand

Being an Effective Advocate

Your parent needs you to speak up for them.

Communicate Clearly

Introduce yourself and your relationship
Explain if your parent has cognitive issues or communication difficulties
Provide information the patient may not remember or share
Correct any misunderstandings you notice

Stay With Your Parent

Seniors can become confused in the ER environment
You can provide comfort and reduce anxiety
You're there to catch information and ask questions
If you must leave briefly, let staff know

Ask Questions

What do you think is wrong?
What tests are you ordering?
What are the treatment options?
Are you admitting them or sending them home?
What should we watch for at home?
When should we follow up?

Speak Up When Needed

If symptoms are getting worse, tell someone
If something seems wrong or different, mention it
If your parent's concerns are being dismissed and you disagree, advocate
If you have concerns about the plan, voice them respectfully
Request to speak with a supervisor if needed

Special Considerations for Seniors

Older patients have unique needs in the ER.

Delirium Risk

Hospitals can cause confusion in older adults:

Unfamiliar environment, disrupted sleep, medications can trigger delirium
Let staff know your parent's normal mental state
Stay with them to provide orientation and comfort
New confusion should be evaluated—it's often a sign of infection or other problems

Fall Risk

Don't let your parent walk unassisted if they're unsteady
Request help for bathroom trips
Make sure bed rails are up and call button is accessible

Medication Issues

Remind staff about all medications including blood thinners
Ask about interactions with any new medications given
Note if regular medications are missed during the ER visit

Communication Needs

Bring hearing aids and glasses
Speak slowly and clearly
Make sure staff know about hearing or vision problems
Help ensure your parent understands what's happening

Before Discharge

Don't leave until you have clear instructions.

Questions to Ask

What is the diagnosis (or possible diagnoses)?
What medications should they take (new or changed)?
What activities should they avoid?
What warning signs should prompt a return to the ER?
When should they follow up with their doctor?
Do they need any follow-up tests or appointments?