Should I go with my parent to doctor appointments?

Yes, accompanying your parent to appointments is recommended, especially for important visits. You can help remember information, take notes, ask questions, and provide the doctor with observations. Get your parent's permission and HIPAA authorization first. Respect their privacy on sensitive topics if they prefer privacy for certain discussions.

What should I bring to my parent's doctor appointment?

Bring: current medication list (including OTC and supplements), list of symptoms and concerns, recent vital signs if tracked at home, insurance cards, medical records from other providers if relevant, hearing aids and glasses, list of questions, and something to take notes with. Also bring your parent's healthcare proxy if you have one.

How can I make sure the doctor addresses all my parent's concerns?

Prepare a prioritized list of concerns before the visit. At the start of the appointment, tell the doctor how many issues you'd like to discuss. Lead with the most important concern. If time runs short, ask to schedule a follow-up for remaining issues. Written preparation helps ensure nothing is forgotten in the rushed appointment.

What questions should I ask the doctor about new medications?

Ask: What is this medication for? Are there interactions with current medications? What side effects should we watch for? When and how should it be taken? How long until we see results? What happens if a dose is missed? Are there generic options? When should we follow up? Should any current medications be adjusted?

How do I get copies of my parent's medical records?

Request records from the medical records department of each provider. Your parent must sign a release or you need healthcare power of attorney. Many health systems offer online patient portals for record access. Records may be available electronically or as paper copies. There may be a fee for paper copies, though federal law limits how much providers can charge.

Health • 20 min read

Preparing for Doctor Appointments: Making the Most of Every Visit

A comprehensive guide to preparing for, attending, and following up on your parent's medical appointments.

Medical Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare providers for diagnosis and treatment decisions. Every individual's health situation is unique.

Key Takeaways

✓Prepare a written list of concerns prioritized by importance
✓Bring all medications or an updated medication list
✓Take notes during appointments or ask to record them
✓Ask questions until you fully understand instructions
✓Get written instructions before leaving

The average primary care appointment lasts just 15-20 minutes. For seniors with complex health issues, that's barely enough time to cover one topic thoroughly, let alone address multiple concerns. Without preparation, important issues get forgotten, questions go unasked, and instructions are misunderstood.

As a caregiver, you can dramatically improve the quality of your parent's healthcare by helping them prepare for appointments, attending when possible, and ensuring proper follow-through afterward. This guide shows you how.

Before the Appointment

Gather Information

Start preparing several days before the appointment:

Pre-Appointment Checklist

Documents to Gather

☐ Insurance cards (Medicare, supplemental, Part D)
☐ Photo ID
☐ Healthcare proxy/POA documents if needed
☐ Current medication list
☐ Recent test results from other providers
☐ Referral letter if required
☐ Advance directive copy for new providers

Information to Prepare

☐ List of symptoms and concerns
☐ When symptoms started/changed
☐ Home vital signs if tracked
☐ Questions you want to ask
☐ Changes since last visit
☐ Medication side effects noticed
☐ Recent falls, ER visits, or hospitalizations

Create a Symptom Log

If your parent has ongoing symptoms, track them for a week before the appointment:

When does the symptom occur?
How severe is it (scale of 1-10)?
What makes it better or worse?
How long does it last?
Is it affecting daily activities?

Prioritize Your Concerns

Given limited appointment time, rank concerns from most to least important. Lead with your biggest worry—don't save it for the end when time runs out.

The "Doorknob Syndrome"

Many patients mention their most worrying symptom as the doctor's hand is on the doorknob to leave. By then, there's no time for proper evaluation. Put your biggest concern at the TOP of your list and mention it first.

Prepare Questions

Write down questions you want to ask. Good categories include:

Questions about symptoms or conditions
Questions about medications
Questions about tests or procedures
Questions about what to expect
Questions about lifestyle changes

Practical Preparation

Confirm the Appointment

Call to confirm date, time, and location
Ask about check-in time (usually 15-30 minutes before)
Verify which building entrance and parking options
Ask if any forms can be completed ahead of time
Confirm what insurance information they need

Plan for Physical Needs

For Your Parent

• Ensure hearing aids have fresh batteries
• Clean glasses for reading
• Wear easy-to-remove clothing if exam expected
• Comfortable shoes for walking
• Bring mobility aids if used
• Have snacks if diabetic

To Bring Along

• Notepad and pen (or phone for notes)
• Reading material for waiting
• Water bottle
• List of pharmacy phone/address
• Phone charger for long waits
• Sweater (offices are often cold)

Coordinate with Multiple Caregivers

If multiple family members are involved in care:

Designate one person to attend (too many can be overwhelming)
Collect questions and concerns from other family members
Plan how you'll share information after the appointment
Consider a conference call with doctor for major decisions

During the Appointment

At Check-In

Arrive early for paperwork
Update any changed information (address, pharmacy, insurance)
Mention if your parent needs extra time or assistance
Ask how long the wait is expected to be

When the Doctor Arrives

Set the Agenda

At the start of the visit, briefly tell the doctor what you want to cover:

"We have three things we'd like to discuss today. The most important is [main concern]. We also want to ask about [second concern] and [third concern]. Is that doable in our time today?"

During the Discussion

Take notes: Write down key points, diagnoses, and instructions
Ask for clarification: Don't pretend to understand—ask "Can you explain that differently?"
Repeat back: Summarize what you heard to confirm understanding
Request written instructions: Verbal-only instructions are easily forgotten
Ask about alternatives: What are other treatment options?

Questions to Ask About New Diagnoses

1. What is this condition and what causes it?
2. What does this mean for my parent's daily life?
3. What are the treatment options?
4. What happens if we don't treat it?
5. What symptoms should we watch for?
6. Should we see a specialist?
7. Are there any restrictions on activities?
8. Where can we learn more about this condition?

Questions About Medications

1. What is this medication for?
2. Will it interact with current medications?
3. What side effects should we watch for?
4. When and how should it be taken?
5. Should it be taken with food?
6. How long until it starts working?
7. What if a dose is missed?
8. Is a generic version available?
9. How long will they need to take it?

Questions About Tests and Procedures

1. Why is this test/procedure recommended?
2. What will it tell us?
3. What are the risks?
4. How should we prepare?
5. What will it cost and is it covered?
6. How and when will we get results?
7. What happens if results are abnormal?
8. Are there alternatives to this test?

Before Leaving

Confirm you have written instructions
Understand when to follow up
Know who to call with questions
Get copies of any paperwork or referrals
Schedule next appointment if needed
Know when test results will be available

After the Appointment

Immediate Follow-Up

Review your notes

While information is fresh, review and clarify your notes. Add details you remember but didn't write down.

Pick up prescriptions

Get new medications filled promptly. Ask pharmacist to review for interactions if medications were changed.

Update records

Update your parent's medication list and health records with any changes.

Share with family

Brief other caregivers on what happened and what needs to be done.

Schedule follow-ups

Make any referral or follow-up appointments before life gets busy.

Create an Action Plan

Document what needs to happen and when:

Medication changes (what, when to start, dosage)
Tests or procedures to schedule
Lifestyle changes to implement
Symptoms to watch for
When to call the doctor
Follow-up appointment date

Follow Up on Results

Don't assume no news is good news. If you don't hear about test results:

Call the office after the expected timeframe
Check patient portal for posted results
Ask for a copy of results for your records
Clarify any abnormal results

Special Situations

When Your Parent Has Cognitive Impairment

Speak with the nurse beforehand to share observations
Let your parent answer questions but be ready to supplement
Don't contradict your parent in front of the doctor—talk privately
Request the doctor speak to you separately if needed
Bring written notes on symptoms and behaviors observed at home

When Your Parent Minimizes Symptoms

Many seniors downplay their symptoms to doctors. If you've observed something concerning:

Ask to speak with nurse or doctor privately before the visit
Send a letter or patient portal message in advance
Say "I've noticed something different" rather than contradicting
Use specific examples with dates

Telehealth Appointments

Tips for Video Visits

• Test technology beforehand
• Ensure good lighting and quiet space
• Have all the same materials you'd bring in person
• Position camera to show your parent clearly
• Have phone number ready in case of technical issues
• Take notes just as you would in person
• Ask how prescriptions will be sent to pharmacy