You're exhausted. You're stressed. You feel guilty about feeling stressed. You're watching your parent decline while simultaneously trying to hold together your own life—your job, your family, your health. Some days you don't know how you'll get through another week. Other days you feel numb, going through the motions without feeling anything at all.
These experiences are incredibly common among caregivers. Studies show that 40-70% of family caregivers experience significant symptoms of depression. Anxiety, chronic stress, and burnout are nearly universal. Yet most caregivers never seek professional mental health support, often because they believe their struggles are "just part of caregiving" or that they don't have time for themselves.
Here's the truth: taking care of your mental health isn't selfish or optional. It's essential—not just for you, but for your parent. Burned out caregivers provide worse care, make more mistakes, and ultimately can't sustain the caregiving role. Getting support now isn't abandoning your responsibilities; it's preserving your ability to fulfill them.
When to Seek Professional Help
You don't need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. But certain signs indicate that professional support could make a real difference.
Warning Signs You Need Support
- Persistent sadness or hopelessness lasting more than two weeks
- Anxiety that interferes with sleep, work, or caregiving
- Overwhelming guilt about caregiving decisions or taking time for yourself
- Anger that feels out of control or directed at your parent
- Emotional numbness or feeling disconnected from life
- Sleep problems: insomnia, sleeping too much, or unrefreshing sleep
- Social withdrawal from friends and activities you once enjoyed
- Physical symptoms without medical explanation (headaches, stomach problems, chronic pain)
- Increased alcohol or substance use to cope
- Thoughts of self-harm or wishing you could escape
- Feeling like you can't go on or are at the end of your rope
If You're in Crisis
If you're having thoughts of harming yourself or others, please reach out immediately. Call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline), go to your nearest emergency room, or call 911. Caregiver burnout can become dangerous—getting help is an act of courage, not weakness.
When Therapy Is Preventive Care
You don't have to wait until things are bad to get help. Consider therapy as preventive care if:
- You're new to caregiving and anticipating challenges ahead
- Your parent was recently diagnosed with dementia or a serious illness
- You're experiencing anticipatory grief as your parent declines
- Family conflicts about caregiving are creating stress
- You want to develop better coping strategies before burnout hits
- You've experienced depression or anxiety in the past and want support during this high-stress period
Types of Therapy for Caregivers
Different therapeutic approaches can help with different challenges. Understanding your options helps you find the right fit.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
What it is: CBT focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors. It's structured, goal-oriented, and usually short-term (8-20 sessions).
How it helps caregivers:
- Challenges guilt-inducing thoughts ("I should be doing more")
- Develops coping strategies for stressful situations
- Addresses depression and anxiety with evidence-based techniques
- Teaches practical skills you can use between sessions
Best for: Depression, anxiety, guilt, unhelpful thinking patterns, specific behavioral goals.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
What it is: ACT helps you accept difficult emotions rather than fighting them, while committing to actions aligned with your values.
How it helps caregivers:
- Makes space for grief, frustration, and sadness without being overwhelmed
- Clarifies what matters most to you amid competing demands
- Reduces struggle with emotions that are normal responses to caregiving
- Increases psychological flexibility
Best for: Processing difficult emotions, finding meaning, chronic stress, values clarification.
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy
What it is: This approach focuses on solutions rather than problems, identifying what's working and building on strengths.
How it helps caregivers:
- Identifies concrete, practical strategies quickly
- Builds on coping skills you already have
- Sets achievable goals for improvement
- Works well with limited time and energy
Best for: Practical problem-solving, building on existing strengths, time-limited therapy.
Grief Therapy
What it is: Specialized support for processing loss—including anticipatory grief while a parent is still alive.
How it helps caregivers:
- Processes the ongoing losses of caregiving (loss of the parent you knew, loss of your former life)
- Prepares for eventual death while maintaining hope
- Addresses complicated grief after a parent's passing
- Validates that grieving before death is normal and healthy
Best for: Anticipatory grief, processing loss during illness, bereavement.
Family Therapy
What it is: Therapy involving multiple family members to address relationship dynamics and communication.
How it helps caregivers:
- Addresses sibling conflicts about caregiving responsibilities
- Improves communication with your spouse about caregiving strain
- Helps family members understand each other's perspectives
- Develops fair plans for sharing caregiving duties
Best for: Family conflicts, communication problems, distributing caregiving load.
Finding the Right Therapist
The relationship with your therapist matters more than their specific approach. Here's how to find a good fit.
What to Look For
- Experience with caregivers: Ask if they've worked with family caregivers before
- Understanding of aging issues: Familiarity with dementia, chronic illness, end-of-life concerns
- Flexible scheduling: Availability for evening, early morning, or online appointments
- Practical orientation: Willingness to work on real-world coping strategies
- Cultural competence: Understanding of your family's cultural background and values
Where to Search
- Psychology Today directory: psychologytoday.com/us/therapists (filter by specialty, insurance, location)
- Your insurance provider: Check your plan's therapist directory
- Employee Assistance Program: If your employer offers EAP, they may provide free sessions
- Caregiver organizations: Alzheimer's Association, Area Agency on Aging may have referral lists
- Your doctor: Ask for mental health referrals
- SAMHSA treatment locator: findtreatment.gov
Questions to Ask Potential Therapists
- Have you worked with family caregivers before?
- What approach do you typically use?
- What does a typical session look like?
- How do you handle scheduling flexibility for caregivers with unpredictable demands?
- Do you offer telehealth/online sessions?
- What are your fees and do you accept my insurance?
- How will we know if therapy is working?
It's Okay to Shop Around
Most therapists offer a brief phone consultation before the first session. Use this to get a sense of whether you feel comfortable with them. If your first therapist isn't a good fit, it's completely acceptable to try someone else. The therapeutic relationship is crucial—don't settle.
Online Therapy Options
For caregivers who can't easily leave the house, online therapy can be a lifeline.
Benefits for Caregivers
- No commute: Attend sessions from home while your parent rests
- Flexible scheduling: Many platforms offer evening and weekend availability
- No childcare/respite needed: You can be home and still get help
- More therapist options: Not limited by geographic location
- Often more affordable: Lower overhead means lower costs
Online Therapy Platforms
- BetterHelp: Large therapist network, $60-90/week, messaging + video sessions
- Talkspace: Similar model, $65-100/week, multiple plan options
- Cerebral: Includes medication management option, $85-325/month
- Teladoc/MDLive: Often covered by insurance, single sessions available
- Traditional therapists via telehealth: Many private practice therapists now offer video sessions
Is Online Therapy Effective?
Research shows online therapy is as effective as in-person therapy for:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Stress management
- Many other common concerns
However, in-person therapy may be better for severe mental illness, crisis situations, or if you prefer face-to-face connection.
Affording Therapy
Cost is a real barrier for many caregivers. But affordable options exist.
Insurance Coverage
- Check your plan: Mental health parity laws require many plans to cover therapy
- In-network vs. out-of-network: In-network typically costs less ($20-50 copay)
- Deductibles: You may need to meet your deductible first
- Session limits: Some plans limit annual sessions (though parity laws restrict this)
Low-Cost Options
- Community mental health centers: Sliding scale fees based on income ($20-60 typical)
- University training clinics: Advanced students supervised by licensed faculty ($10-40)
- Open Path Collective: Network of therapists offering $30-80 sessions (openpathcollective.org)
- Employee Assistance Programs: Often 3-8 free sessions through your employer
- Sliding scale private practice: Many therapists reserve slots for reduced-fee clients
Free Resources
- Support groups: Not therapy, but provide peer support and connection
- Crisis lines: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741)
- NAMI Helpline: 1-800-950-6264 for information and referrals
- Caregiver Action Network: caregiveraction.org offers resources and support
What to Expect in Therapy
Knowing what happens in therapy can reduce anxiety about starting.
First Session
- Paperwork (can often be done online beforehand)
- Discussion of confidentiality and its limits
- Therapist asks about what brings you in
- You share about your caregiving situation and concerns
- Discussion of goals for therapy
- Chance to ask questions and assess fit
Ongoing Sessions
- Typically 45-60 minutes, weekly or biweekly
- You set the agenda based on what's pressing
- Therapist helps you explore feelings and develop strategies
- May include "homework" to practice between sessions
- Progress reviewed periodically
What Therapy Won't Do
- Won't tell you what to do: Therapists help you explore options, not make decisions for you
- Won't fix everything overnight: Change takes time and practice
- Won't make caregiving easy: But can make it more sustainable
- Won't judge you: Therapists are trained to be non-judgmental about your feelings and choices
Common Concerns About Starting Therapy
"I Don't Have Time"
Therapy is typically one hour per week. Consider:
- Online therapy eliminates commute time
- Lunch hour appointments
- Early morning or evening sessions
- Biweekly instead of weekly sessions
Ask yourself: can you afford NOT to take one hour for your mental health? Burnout costs far more time than prevention.
"It's Selfish to Focus on Myself"
Caring for yourself enables you to care for others. Would you call it selfish to take medication for high blood pressure? Mental health care is healthcare. Your parent needs you healthy and functioning—getting support helps you provide better care.
"My Problems Aren't Bad Enough"
You don't need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. In fact, early intervention is more effective than waiting until you hit rock bottom. If caregiving is affecting your wellbeing, that's "enough."
"I Should Be Able to Handle This on My Own"
Caregiving is one of the most challenging experiences a person can face. Using available resources isn't weakness—it's wisdom. Would you refuse to use a wheelchair if you broke your leg?
"I Tried Therapy Before and It Didn't Help"
Not all therapists are created equal, and fit matters enormously. A bad experience with one therapist doesn't mean therapy can't help you. Try someone new, try a different approach, or try online versus in-person.
Therapy vs. Other Types of Support
Therapy vs. Support Groups
| Aspect | Individual Therapy | Support Groups |
|---|---|---|
| Focus | Your specific issues in depth | Shared experiences with peers |
| Privacy | Complete confidentiality | Sharing with group |
| Expertise | Licensed professional | Peer-led or facilitator |
| Treatment | Clinical treatment for conditions | Support and validation |
| Cost | $$-$$$ | Usually free |
| Best for | Depression, anxiety, deep exploration | Connection, practical tips, normalizing |
Many caregivers benefit from both—therapy for clinical support and deeper work, support groups for ongoing connection with others who understand.
When to Choose Therapy
- You have symptoms of depression or anxiety
- You need confidential space to process difficult feelings
- You want structured, evidence-based treatment
- You need help with specific issues (grief, family conflict, trauma)
- You prefer one-on-one attention
When Support Groups May Be Enough
- You're coping reasonably well but want connection
- You mainly need practical tips from others in similar situations
- You want to feel less alone in your experience
- You're looking for low-cost or free support
Frequently Asked Questions
Many caregivers benefit from therapy due to the unique stresses of their role. Studies show caregivers have higher rates of depression and anxiety. You don't need to be in crisis—therapy can be preventive care for your mental health.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is well-researched for caregiver stress. Other effective approaches include Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, and grief therapy. The best type depends on your specific needs.
With insurance, you may pay $20-50 per session. Without insurance, private therapists charge $100-250. Affordable options include community mental health centers ($20-60 sliding scale), online therapy ($60-100/week), and employee assistance programs (often free).
Search Psychology Today's directory filtering for 'caregiver support.' Ask potential therapists about their experience with caregiver clients. Look for specialties in aging, grief and loss, family dynamics, or chronic illness.
Yes, online therapy is especially convenient for caregivers who can't easily leave home. Research shows it's as effective as in-person therapy for depression, anxiety, and stress—common caregiver concerns.
Consider therapy if you experience persistent sadness, anxiety that interferes with daily function, overwhelming guilt, uncontrollable anger, sleep problems, social withdrawal, or thoughts of self-harm. Don't wait until crisis—early intervention is more effective.
A therapist helps you explore your feelings and make decisions aligned with your values. They won't push you to abandon caregiving or stay in an unhealthy situation. The goal is finding sustainable ways to care for your parent while protecting your wellbeing.
They serve different purposes. Support groups offer peer connection and practical tips. Individual therapy provides personalized strategies and clinical treatment for conditions like depression. Many caregivers benefit from both.
Taking the First Step
Reading this article is already a step toward caring for your mental health. The next step is to take action.
You might start by:
- Calling your insurance to check mental health coverage
- Browsing therapist profiles on Psychology Today
- Asking your doctor for a referral
- Checking if your employer offers an EAP
- Scheduling one phone consultation with a therapist
You don't have to commit to anything right now. Just explore. See what's available. Notice how it feels to consider getting support.
Caregiving is hard. You're doing something incredibly important and incredibly demanding. Taking care of your mental health isn't separate from caregiving—it's part of it. The stronger and healthier you are, the better you can be there for your parent.
You deserve support. Your parent needs you healthy. Take the step.