Your parent worked their entire life to build financial security. Now that security is under threat. Elder financial exploitation—the illegal or improper use of an older person's funds, property, or assets—affects millions of seniors each year. And the scariest part? The majority of perpetrators aren't strangers. They're family members, caregivers, and people your parent trusts.
This guide will help you recognize the warning signs of financial exploitation, understand who commits these crimes and why, learn how to report suspected abuse, and take proactive steps to protect your parent before exploitation occurs.
The Scope of the Problem
Before diving into warning signs, it's important to understand just how widespread this problem is.
Staggering Numbers
- $28.3 billion: Estimated annual losses to elder financial exploitation in the U.S.
- 1 in 10: Seniors who will experience some form of financial exploitation
- $120,000: Average loss per victim (some lose their entire life savings)
- Only 1 in 44: Cases that get reported to authorities
- 60%: Percentage of exploitation committed by family members
These numbers represent real people—parents, grandparents, neighbors—who trusted someone and had that trust betrayed. The financial devastation often leads to loss of independence, inability to afford medical care, and shortened lifespan.
Why Seniors Are Targeted
Several factors make older adults particularly vulnerable:
- Accumulated wealth: Home equity, retirement savings, and assets built over a lifetime
- Cognitive decline: Dementia, memory issues, or slower processing can impair judgment
- Social isolation: Loneliness makes seniors susceptible to those who show attention
- Physical dependence: Needing help with daily tasks creates opportunities for manipulation
- Trusting nature: Many seniors grew up in communities where trust was the norm
- Limited technology skills: Difficulty detecting online fraud or monitoring accounts
- Desire to help: Wanting to assist family members, even inappropriately
Warning Signs of Financial Exploitation
Financial exploitation often happens gradually. Knowing what to look for can help you intervene before significant damage is done.
Banking and Financial Red Flags
- Unexplained withdrawals or transfers, especially large or frequent ones
- ATM withdrawals when your parent can't easily leave home
- Checks written to cash or to someone new
- New authorized signers on accounts
- Changed beneficiaries on accounts, insurance policies, or retirement funds
- Missing bank statements or statements going to a new address
- Unpaid bills despite having adequate income or assets
- Utilities being shut off unexpectedly
- New credit cards or loans in your parent's name
- Sudden inability to afford medications or basic needs
Legal and Property Red Flags
- Sudden changes to will or estate plans, especially benefiting a new person
- New power of attorney granted to someone unexpected
- Property transferred to someone outside the family
- Liens or mortgages appearing on previously paid-off property
- Missing valuables: jewelry, collectibles, heirlooms
- Signatures that look different or shaky on legal documents
- Documents signed when your parent seems confused or pressured
Behavioral Red Flags
- Reluctance to discuss finances when they previously were open
- Confusion about their financial situation
- Fear or anxiety around certain people
- New "best friend" or companion who is overly involved in finances
- Isolation from family members by someone with financial access
- Making excuses for missing money or changed documents
- Defensive reactions when asked about finances
- Sudden distrust of family members who express concern
Trust Your Instincts
If something feels wrong, it probably is. Many adult children dismiss early warning signs because they can't believe a family member or trusted caregiver would steal. By the time they accept what's happening, significant money is already gone. Act on suspicions early—investigation doesn't have to mean accusation.
Who Commits Elder Financial Abuse
Understanding who typically commits this abuse helps you know where to focus your attention.
Family Members (60% of Cases)
The most common perpetrators are adult children, followed by grandchildren, siblings, and spouses. Family exploitation often includes:
- Using parent as an ATM: Constant requests for "loans" that are never repaid
- Stealing during visits: Taking cash, checkbooks, credit cards, or valuables
- Identity theft: Opening accounts or taking loans in parent's name
- Coerced changes: Pressuring parent to change will, add to deed, or sign POA
- Living off the parent: Moving in and draining resources while providing minimal care
- Controlling assets: Taking over finances under guise of "helping" and diverting money
Risk factors for family exploitation:
- Family member with addiction, gambling, or financial problems
- Sense of entitlement ("It'll be mine anyway")
- History of taking advantage of parent's generosity
- Family member who is primary caregiver with no oversight
- Estranged family member who suddenly reappears
Paid Caregivers and Helpers
People hired to help your parent have access and opportunity:
- Home health aides who handle finances, shopping, or errands
- Companions who become overly involved in financial decisions
- Housekeepers with access to checkbooks and valuables
- Handymen who overcharge or bill for work not done
- Drivers who access ATMs or accompany to bank
New Romantic Partners
Romance-based exploitation is particularly devastating:
- Isolated widows and widowers are especially vulnerable
- New partner may quickly push for joint accounts, marriage, or moving in
- Isolation from family often accelerates after partnership forms
- Cognitive decline may make it hard for parent to see manipulation
Professionals and Businesses
- Financial advisors recommending unsuitable investments for commissions
- Attorneys who insert themselves as beneficiaries
- Contractors who demand large payments for shoddy or unnecessary work
- Predatory lenders targeting home equity
- Unscrupulous businesses using high-pressure sales tactics
Scammers and Strangers
While getting the most attention, stranger exploitation accounts for a smaller percentage of cases:
- Phone scams (IRS, grandparent scam, tech support)
- Email phishing and online fraud
- Door-to-door scams and sweepstakes fraud
- Investment and cryptocurrency scams
When the Abuser Is Family
Family financial abuse is the most common and often the most difficult to address. Here's how to handle this painful situation.
Why Family Abuse Is Different
- Victim loyalty: Your parent may protect the abuser out of love or embarrassment
- Family denial: Other family members may refuse to believe a relative could steal
- Complex dynamics: Long family histories make confrontation complicated
- Fear of consequences: Parent may fear losing the relationship or caregiver
- Rationalization: "They need it more than me" or "It'll be theirs eventually"
Common Family Exploitation Patterns
The Entitled Child
An adult child believes they deserve the parent's money. They may feel owed for childhood grievances, consider themselves the "favorite," or rationalize that they'll inherit anyway. They take money without asking or pressure parents for handouts, loans, or changes to the will.
The Addicted Child
Substance abuse or gambling addiction drives desperate behavior. They may steal cash, forge checks, or sell parent's possessions. The parent often enables the behavior out of love, covering up thefts and continuing to provide money.
The Controlling Child
One child takes over finances, ostensibly to "help." They isolate the parent from other family members, control information flow, and gradually divert assets to themselves. They may move into the parent's home and make the parent dependent on them.
The Caregiver Child
A child provides care and feels entitled to compensation beyond what's fair. They may pay themselves excessive "wages" from parent's accounts, charge for care that isn't provided, or pressure parent to change will in their favor as "payment."
Addressing Family Abuse
- Document everything: Gather bank statements, legal documents, and evidence before confrontation
- Consult professionals: Talk to an elder law attorney about options before taking action
- Approach with compassion: Your parent may not want to prosecute their own child
- Focus on protection: Prioritize stopping the bleeding over punishment
- Consider intervention: A family meeting with a mediator or social worker
- Involve authorities when necessary: If significant theft has occurred or continues
When Your Parent Resists Help
If your parent is competent, they have the right to make bad financial decisions—even giving money to someone who's exploiting them. You cannot force protection on a competent adult. Focus on education, providing information, and staying connected. If they lack capacity, you may need to pursue guardianship or conservatorship through the courts.
How to Report Financial Exploitation
If you suspect your parent is being financially exploited, there are several agencies that can help.
Adult Protective Services (APS)
Every state has an APS agency that investigates elder abuse, including financial exploitation.
- What they do: Investigate reports, assess the situation, provide or arrange services
- How to report: Call your state's APS hotline or the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116
- What happens: A caseworker investigates, determines if abuse occurred, and develops a protection plan
- Anonymity: Reports can usually be made anonymously
Law Enforcement
Financial exploitation is a crime. Consider contacting police if:
- Significant money or property has been stolen
- There's ongoing criminal activity
- Your parent wants to press charges
- The perpetrator poses a physical threat
Many jurisdictions now have specialized elder abuse units or prosecutors.
Financial Institution
Banks and investment companies have a role in stopping exploitation:
- Report suspicious activity to the bank's fraud department
- Request a hold on suspicious transactions
- Ask about their elder financial protection program
- In many states, banks are mandated reporters of suspected elder abuse
Other Reporting Options
- Long-Term Care Ombudsman: If abuse occurs in a nursing home or assisted living
- State Attorney General: Consumer protection division handles elder fraud
- SEC or FINRA: For securities fraud or investment advisor misconduct
- Consumer Financial Protection Bureau: For complaints about financial products
- FTC: For scams and fraud (reportfraud.ftc.gov)
What to Document
Before reporting, gather as much information as you can:
- Bank and financial statements showing suspicious activity
- Copies of legal documents (will, POA, deeds) showing changes
- Timeline of events and observations
- Names and contact information of witnesses
- Photos of missing valuables if possible
- Any written communication related to the exploitation
Preventing Financial Exploitation
The best protection is prevention. These strategies can help safeguard your parent's assets.
Stay Involved and Connected
- Regular contact: Call or visit frequently—isolation enables exploitation
- Know their routine: Who visits, who helps with finances, who drives them places
- Meet the helpers: Get to know caregivers, companions, and new friends
- Watch for isolation: Be alert if someone is limiting your parent's contact with family
Set Up Financial Safeguards
- Joint review of statements: Help your parent review bank and credit card statements monthly
- Account alerts: Set up text or email alerts for transactions over a certain amount
- Trusted contact: Many financial institutions allow you to name a trusted contact who can be notified of suspicious activity
- Daily withdrawal limits: Lower ATM and debit card limits
- Two-signature requirement: For large transactions or checks over a certain amount
- Direct deposit: Reduce the risk of stolen checks
Protect Credit and Identity
- Credit freeze: Prevents new accounts from being opened in their name
- Credit monitoring: Alerts you to changes in credit report
- Secure important documents: Keep Social Security cards, birth certificates, and financial documents locked
- Shred sensitive mail: Don't let it pile up where others can access it
Legal Protections
- Choose POA carefully: Select someone trustworthy and consider naming co-agents for oversight
- Review existing POA: If concerns arise, POA can be revoked while the person has capacity
- Estate planning attorney: Professional guidance on protecting assets
- Living trust: Can provide oversight structure for asset management
- Consider professional fiduciary: If no trustworthy family member is available
Educate Your Parent
Help them understand:
- Common scam tactics and how to recognize them
- The importance of never giving financial information to callers
- That it's okay to say "no" to anyone asking for money
- That family members shouldn't pressure them for money or changes to legal documents
- To call you before making major financial decisions
Having the Conversation with Your Parent
Talking to your parent about financial exploitation concerns requires sensitivity.
If You're Raising General Concerns
- Frame it as protecting them, not controlling them
- Share news stories about elder fraud to open discussion
- Ask if they've received any suspicious calls or requests
- Offer to help review statements together
- Discuss setting up safeguards before problems arise
If You Suspect Active Exploitation
- Approach with concern, not accusation: "I've noticed some things that worry me..."
- Ask open-ended questions: "Can you tell me about these withdrawals?"
- Listen without judgment: They may be embarrassed or defensive
- Don't attack the suspected abuser directly: This may push your parent toward them
- Offer support: "I'm here to help however you need"
- Respect their autonomy: If competent, they can refuse help
If They're in Denial
- Continue monitoring the situation
- Stay connected and maintain trust
- Document concerns for potential future action
- Consider involving a professional (social worker, doctor, attorney) who may be heard differently
- Report to APS even without your parent's cooperation if exploitation is occurring
Frequently Asked Questions
Key warning signs include unexplained withdrawals or transfers, missing cash or valuables, unpaid bills despite adequate income, sudden changes to wills or beneficiaries, new "friends" showing excessive interest in finances, reluctance to discuss money, and isolation from family members.
Research shows that 60% of elder financial abuse is committed by family members, most commonly adult children. Other perpetrators include caregivers, new romantic partners, neighbors, financial advisors, and strangers through scams.
Report to Adult Protective Services in your state (1-800-677-1116), local law enforcement, and the bank or financial institution involved. For securities fraud, contact the SEC or FINRA. Reports can be made anonymously in most states.
Seniors lose an estimated $28.3 billion annually to financial exploitation in the U.S. The average loss per victim ranges from $120,000 to over $500,000 for complex schemes. Most cases go unreported.
Yes, many banks have elder protection programs. You can set up alerts for large transactions, establish trusted contact designations, request holds on suspicious transactions, and ask about senior protection policies. Some states require banks to report suspected exploitation.
Yes, elder financial exploitation is a crime in all 50 states. It can be prosecuted as theft, fraud, forgery, or under specific elder abuse statutes. Penalties can include prison time, fines, and restitution. Civil remedies are also available.
Risk factors include cognitive decline or dementia, social isolation, dependence on others for care, trusting nature, unfamiliarity with technology, recent loss of spouse, depression, and accumulated wealth.
Approach with compassion, not accusation. Express concern without attacking the suspected abuser. Ask open-ended questions about finances. Avoid ultimatums. Listen without judgment. If they deny problems, continue monitoring and consider involving professionals.
Resources for Help
National Resources
- Eldercare Locator: 1-800-677-1116 (connects to local APS and services)
- National Elder Fraud Hotline: 1-833-FRAUD-11 (1-833-372-8311)
- Consumer Financial Protection Bureau: consumerfinance.gov/olderamericans
- National Center on Elder Abuse: ncea.acl.gov
Financial Reporting
- FTC Fraud Reporting: reportfraud.ftc.gov
- SEC Complaints: sec.gov/tcr
- FINRA: finra.org/investors/have-problem
Taking Action to Protect Your Parent
Financial exploitation is devastating, but it can be prevented and stopped. The key is staying involved, watching for warning signs, and being willing to take action even when it's uncomfortable—especially when a family member may be involved.
Start by having a conversation with your parent about financial safety before there's a problem. Set up safeguards like account alerts and trusted contact designations. Stay connected and know who's in their life. And if you see warning signs, don't ignore them hoping they'll go away.
Your parent spent a lifetime building their financial security. Protecting it is one of the most important things you can do for them in their final years. Don't wait until it's too late.